The point of the game is to just do what you would (or wouldn't) in your life and see what unfolds. This simulacrum of me described above lived happily encased in the world I constructed for her in EA's life simulation game, The Sims, when I played as a child. That is the antithesis of my actual life. There is no shame or sorrow in this world, just the promise of another glorious dawn each day when I arise. My career as a professional ghost hunter fulfills me and pays the bills. I'm painting again and my works adorn the tasteful modernist home I share with my friend Maria.

I have just eaten a hefty portion of mac and cheese and enjoyed every bite. I am watching myself flirt successfully with my strapping neighborhood crush.